Asking Yourself: Why Me?
Author: Shannon Miller
As I lie in bed over the weekend trying to rest through my “bad week” (My second cycle has begun with 5 straight chemo days with the really nauseating cocktail each day, oh joy.)
I watch people on television go on about their lives. I read about exciting adventures and think about 6 months ago when I was so worried about minutiae like how I was going to get the tree up in time for Christmas, how were we ever going to get my Walk-Fit program launched in time for the New Year, and was I ever going to get Christmas shopping finished?
Funny how none of that seems important. Right now it’s all about survival. Prioritize and do what you have to do to get through this.
I can’t tell you how many times the thought “Why me?” has fluttered through my mind. There were times this thought made me break down in tears. The fear and loss of control can be unbearable. It will pass. Other times, the question is gone almost as quickly as it came and then there are the times I simply have to smile. Why are any of us chosen to go through the things we do? I smile because I believe in a higher power that has a plan far greater than mine.
As soon as I begin to get down on myself, I remember to be thankful for such early detection that has given me a wonderful prognosis. I’m grateful for the opportunity to help others by sharing with them not simply what I am going through but so much more. This blog is a reflection of what so many are going through or have already gone through. And your messages are invaluable to everyone seeing them. We all need hope, we all need to be picked up from time to time and we all need a good laugh!
This challenge is not fun, it is not pretty, it is not something you ever want a loved one going through. However, with a sense of community and shared empowerment we can join together and be stronger than we ever were as individuals. Talk, write, share. This is the way we help each other. We educate each other and strengthen each other.
When you come to those quite moments when that thought slips in “Why me?”, don’t let it get you down. You are up to the challenge! You are NOT a victim, you ARE a survivor! And you are not alone.