Getting Through

Author: Shannon Miller

By guest blogger Tammy Badida

In my last several articles I talked about many things that can hopefully help you if you are taking care of a terminally ill loved one. As I reached the end of chronicling this part of the journey as a caregiver I thought about many things that I know you are facing daily. For some of you as you reach the end of your caretaking journey it may coincide with grief.

Grieving can be a different process for everyone. Some may experience delayed grief, while others begin grieving before even losing their loved one who has been sick for so long. It is said that there are five stages of grief:

• denial
• anger
• bargaining
• depression
• acceptance

Many people will go through all of these emotions in order to heal, while others may experience very few.

During my own personal journey, I have experienced several stages of the grieving process and in no particular order. Depression was a much more prevalent part of my healing process than bargaining or anger. For others, however, such stages are necessary steps to acceptance. There is no handbook to grief, and nobody should ever feel the pressure to grieve in a certain way. The healing process is just as personal as the rest of your journey to that place of acceptance.

I encourage you to find peace in knowing that when you reach this place of acceptance, it doesn’t mean you forget about or stop grieving for your loved one. It simply means you are getting to a point where you are able to take in and process your grief, and that maybe you are ready to take those first steps to finding the “new normal” in your life.

It has been seven months since I lost my husband, and of course I still have those somber days. We cannot predict how long we will grieve when we lose someone that we love so much, but the pain and sorrow begins to fade a little each day and that opens up some space in our hearts for all those good memories to start pouring in.

I can never stress enough to cling to the things that are most important. Faith, family, and friends can pull you from any pit, and before you know it, you are standing on your own again…and maybe even smiling a bit!

Tammy’s story of “Learning to Live” during a life-changing battle has encouraged and reached so many already and can be found at: www.thebadidas.blogspot.com.

Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.–Author Unknown

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