Roller Coaster Ride

Author: Shannon Miller

PET scan last Friday. Just as I begin to forget about chemo and cancer it seems these tests bring it all back. I’ve been so busy catching up on things that I almost forgot about the scan. I was shooting an interview all morning Friday and lost track of time. I threw on some old sweats. No metal, no jewelry allowed for the scan and even though it’s 95 degrees outside, the scanning room is pretty chilly.

I was injected with the contrast and enjoyed some quiet time to read before lying down on the table and beginning the scan. I figured this was a great time for a cat nap. Two minutes into the scan it was halted. The “scanner” came in to fix a couple issues. 1) I was still wearing my watch, oops. 2) This was a curve ball. The first time in history they’ve seen someone’s, hmmm how should I put this, “caboose” light up with BEBE on the screen!

I love my rhinestone studded BEBE sweats. Yes, I’m living in the 90’s but they’re soooo comfy! And who doesn’t want to sparkle a little when headed to the hospital?

I cope with the uncertainty of these tests by leaning on my faith as best I can and trying to stay busy so that negative thoughts don’t creep in. However, I admit tonight is a little rough. I got a call from my oncologist; not always a good sign. It seems I am too fit! Really?? I try to work out on a somewhat regular basis. I try to eat healthy (although most people know about my ridiculous sweet tooth). But I wouldn’t say I was that fit. Apparently you can be too fit for a PET scan and it’s more difficult to detect contrast.

I’m not sure if I completely buy this, but I’m going to roll with it because it makes me feel like I’m getting back on track strength wise and the alternative is not so fun to think about.

September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month. And while I am so blessed to be able to share my story and help others by creating awareness about the issue, it’s also a difficult path. With each interview, each event, I remember that I’m still going through this. Every time I get a clean bill of health I feel great. But every time there is a small issue, I wonder about the worst. It’s a constant roller coaster.

Luckily I have a doctor that is cautious, checking tests thoroughly, but also understands I need a plan of action. When I begin to worry about the “What if’s” I try to quickly redirect my thought to “What can I do?” So instead of focusing on all of the potential, scary, options out there, I prefer to know what my next action items need to be.

I know that I need to go in for my regular blood test. Check. And possibly a different type of scan that will work better with my body. Of course, there are some things that are simply out of my control. God….you get those. And I’ll just keeping taking it one step at a time and continue to be thankful that my cancer was caught so early and even these continued tests, annoying as they may be, will help reassure me that I am  doing everything I can to remain healthy.