Third Cycle, New Emotions

Author: Shannon Miller

I’m sitting in my comfy chair, home from 6 hours of chemo this morning. Tears are streaming; I’m a big  ball of emotion, yet again. This after reading my facebook page.

This morning as my husband and I walked out to head to chemo and I couldn’t help but break down. I love having a positive attitude and I know that it’s important to recovery. But sometimes you just need a break. A break from holding it all together and being strong. A break from the seriousness of a health issue, a break from…everything.

I don’t even know why I was so down this morning. I actually feel really good physically. I even took the stairs to the chemo room! I’m sure part of it is knowing how rough this week really is and that this will likely be the toughest of all three cycles because of the cumulative effects of chemo. Part of it is knowing that during this week I don’t see Rocco as much because I have to sleep so much and certainly don’t want him to see me when I’m actively sick.

I felt so much better once I got to the “chemospa” as we call it. By the time I got hooked up I was ready to take on the challenge once again. And  now only 4 days left this week!

But here I am at home, while Rocco naps, reading my facebook page filled with so many wonderful and supportive comments. Tony, thank you for sending “Philippians 4:13. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”  And, JacQie, you are exactly right. Gymnastics teaches us so many life skills and one of them is to never back down from a challenge!

I could go on all day but one message that really struck me was from a friend, Greg, who I met while on a visit to Iraq to support our troops in 2009. What an incredible gift to be able to go over to some of the most forward operating bases and shake hands with the men and women that fight for our freedom every day. Thank you to all of our servicemen and servicewomen. You are the true hero’s.

In any case, I am prepared for the emotional roller coaster this week as I near the finish line! Then we’ll have big FB or Twitter party when I finish! Regardless we will continue with the blog, continue to bring you more interviews, articles and information. And soon we will introduce a section for caregivers of those going through a cancer diagnosis. The caregivers face so many issues and we want to address that important topic as well.

I want to send a heartfelt thank you to everyone who has been thinking, praying and offering support not only to me but to the many, many cancer “thrivers” out there. No one should ever have to go through this alone and whether it’s connecting via a blog, facebook, twitter or in person, bringing over food, or offering babysitting on a rough day, we have to have a support system. Again, thank you.