Why Playing Ostrich Is Inherently Against Being a Mom

Author: Sabrina Bateh Kuruvilla

Facing our own mortality is often too much to handle. We’re already dealing with the regular struggles of each day. To think beyond that, to the unthinkable…well, sometimes it’s just too much. However, as difficult as it is to think about, the reality is that we help our families by thinking ahead by preparing for something that we do have some control over. And it all starts with planning, something moms are pretty awesome at anyway!

Here’s some info and insight on how to get started with your legacy planning from Sabrina Bateh Kuruvilla, an estate and planning attorney with Three Oaks Law. 

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As we round out this month honoring moms, I’d like us to take a step back and reflect on all of the roles of a mother. Mothers are the ultimate protectors, the original “SHeroes” (female super heroes), the knot that keeps the laces together when everything really wants to just fall apart. As moms we guide, encourage, build, unify and protect. Sometimes it’s not pretty and at times it looks like the most beautiful thing we’ve ever seen. Nonetheless, whether our children are grown or infants looking to us to fulfill every need, we are always drawn to protect our children.

Protecting our children takes on many different forms throughout our life. There are many things that we do to protect them that they see and experience daily; however, oftentimes it’s those things that they don’t know about that profoundly affect them when they least expect it. As a mom, my focus is on protecting my kids and keeping them happy and healthy- there’s soccer Saturdays, rushing to the pool for an hour before dinner, and wiping their tears whether from toddler tantrums or tumbling off a bike.

As an estate planning attorney, I realize that their lives could be turned upside down in a moment due to my incapacity or death. This is a tough realization; however, I honor the moms who have sat in my office with tears in their eyes knowing that tragedy may come sooner rather than later. I honor them for their courage to face their mortality, to plan and to provide guardians for their children in advance of the need to ensure a judge will not be left to make decisions without direction.

I’m an avid believer in peace-of-mind planning; and, I apologize in advance for the myriad of emotions that this post may cause. However, playing ostrich is inherently against being a mom. I often joke around with my kids by telling them I know and see everything – I have eyes on the back of my head. As moms, we know this is true. Our protection mode is a gut feeling – we catch the Lego before it goes in their mouth and then stop and wonder how we knew what was going to happen. However, when it comes to estate planning, many of us play ostrich because we don’t want to face our own mortality. Pure and simple, I get it. Life can be cruel; however, if we don’t talk about the tragedies of life, we can never achieve peace-of-mind.

Estate planning is one of the only things we have control over when it comes to life’s tragedies. For example, in the event of me and my husband’s incapacity or death, we have provided our children with the smoothest transition possible. We have done this by choosing guardians for our children and documenting them in a legally binding manner. Did you know that if you become incapacitated and your children are with a non-relative caregiver, the police can take the children out of the home and place them in child protective services until a family member is found? As such, I give my babysitters a copy of our designation of pre-need guardian for our children and the phone numbers of our nearest relatives. Ultimately, as a mom I don’t want my children to be in the middle of family arguments over their best interest and I want to protect them now and forever.

If you have any questions on how to provide your children with protection now and forever, please reach out! Peace of mind isn’t a cliché at all. It is achievable and once you have it, you know that your role as a mom in guiding, encouraging, building, unifying and protecting your children will continue despite the twists and turns of life.

*This post has been taken and modified from the original publication Beyond the Green in Jacksonville, FL with permission.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sabrina Bateh Kuruvilla is an Estate and Business Planning attorney in Jacksonville, Florida. For over 10 years, she has been helping individuals and families achieve peace of mind, security and smooth transitions through creative planning. Sabrina builds personal relationships through her client-centered approach to law, while continuing to serve her community in various philanthropic endeavors.

Prior to practicing law, Sabrina spent many years working at her family’s pizzeria in Jacksonville. During this time, she combined her passion for cooking with the joy of giving diners the best customer service possible, understanding that good food and good customer service was key to a successful business. After college, Sabrina realized she wanted to translate her love for people and commitment to service into a law practice dedicated to supporting individual and family needs.

Sabrina’s extensive experience in business development, consulting, estate planning and elder care is reflected in her publications as well as estate planning seminars she holds throughout Jacksonville and the surrounding areas. Additionally, she has experience serving her community and Florida businesses as general counsel.

Reach out to Sabrina at Three Oaks Law. You can also find her on Facebook or Instagram @threeoakslaw.